Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Seeing the future

So I'm going to venture away from the advice from my patients....

As a nurse, I feel like I have a looking glass into the future everyday I walk into the hospital. I get to see people from every walk of life. People who probably had a life similar to mine when they were 24. Through my experience I have learned one major thing:

Always put your partner first (after yourself of course).

When I walk into my patients room, the person I see curled up sleeping in the uncomfortable reclining chair next to my patient is their husband or wife. They put themselves through hell just to be there next to you. They don't get great sleep, they are worried sick, and ultimately are putting their own health at risk...for you. Your partner is going to be the person sitting with you day in and day out in the hospital when you are old.

In marriage/family it is understandable to want to put your children first, but what i'd like you to take into consideration is the word "family". A family (traditionally) means two partners with or without children. If you have children and you and your spouse don't put each other first, the family that you have been building will be gone. Also, in the end your children will be grown up, have a family of their own to take care of, and can't be there 24/7 like your husband or wife.

Then there are those who people put their friends before their spouse. I'm 24 so maybe this is something I'm seeing because I'm younger. When you're 80 years old and laying in that hospital, it probably won't be your friends by your side will be your husband or your wife. Friends MAY pop in for a visit for an hour out of the 7 day stretch you were in the hospital, but they too have families of their own to take care of.

Earlier in this post, I wrote to always put your spouse first and in parenthesis "after yourself of course." But there are times when you have to put that other person first. You have to learn in a relationship to be a little less selfish and a little more selfless. Life is a balancing act and so is love. I believe to find a long lasting happy marriage there has to be this perfect balance that seems to be so hard to acheive. You have to take some you time, but you also have to take the time to make your spouse feel special and feel loved also. You have to learn to GIVE and take. Its very easy to take love and support and time from someone you love, but i'm finding its harder for some people to give. If you are one of those people, learn to give a little. Giving a little will go a long way in the end. It may not be in your nature, but if you love your partner try and make a habit out of it for their sake and for the relationship. Those I see celebrating their 50th anniversary have found that perfect balance. I'm sure it wasn't easy, but I'm sure it was worth it.

You and your spouse have to be each others rock of support. I hope everyone can take a step back and realize exactly what that person is to you and what they can be. Friends come and go. Children get families of their own. Life happens. Make your life about the person you fell in love with. They are the most important person in your life.

Good luck in love.

1 comment:

  1. I need all the luck in the world Tiny. I.can fix anyones relationship and mend a broken heart but I cant fix mine