Wednesday, September 29, 2010

"Raising Men"

Something funny I've noticed...
When I ask women this question, they always make a joke about it. They'll say things like, "Finding the strength not to kill him" or "Oh I don't know, no secret really". They never give me a straight or serious answer.

But the men do. The men who have answered this question love their wives. Every time they answer that question this look goes over their face that's hard to describe and so heart warming. Its a mix between respect, love, and happiness. Its the best facial expression I've ever seen. I want someone to talk about me the way these men talk about their wives. The men are always a little taken back at first that I asked the question, they think about it for a second, and get that look on their face when they start to answer.

There was a man who long story short...couldn't talk. He was my only patient for the night and we sat up all night talking...well he would write and I would talk. He was probably the sweetest man I have ever met. We chatted about lots of things. Then he asked me if I had a boyfriend, and at the time I did so I told him yes. He told me to not settle. He told me that I deserve the best. I've heard this from a lot of people, but it meant so much coming from him. Since we were on the topic of relationships, I asked him, "So whats the secret?" He didn't answer exactly how I had expected. He told me that all men are idiots. Men are children in larger bodies. They don't know whats good for them, even if the best thing they will ever have is standing right in front of their faces. He wrote that when I get married, or finally meet the person I pick to spend the rest of my life with, that I need to "raise him". He said that I need to teach him how to really be a man, because like he said before...all men are idiots. It was funny that he was able to admit it. He said it took a few years of "raising" by his wife and quite a few mistakes and arguments, but he finally got it. He finally grew up. So maybe his secret was patience. In my, and whoever else may be reading this, learning process, I hope that we all learn a little bit of patience for our significant other. We all screw up, so learn to be patient with them while they figure it out. I imagine its not easy, but seeing the look on these mens' faces I know they think it was worth it and i'm sure their wives did too.

Back to the wives..that don't give me any answers. I don't know why they never give me a straight answer. Is it because women just naturally take care of their families and that to us its just natural to love unconditionally? Is it unnatural to men and that's why my patient told me he needed to have his wife "raise" him? Hmmm what do you think?

Best of luck in love

1 comment:

  1. I am thinking, that in order for the raising of the men, they have to be the right men too. I think that the men have to be willing to listen and understand what it takes to be a man from the woman's perspective. I think that if the man really loves the woman, they will want to be whatever that woman needs. So the women have to be vocal and communicative about their needs. If he abides...he loves you and is willing to try. But also, if he tries and it still isn't working out, you have to know when to let go and accept that it may not work.