Monday, October 4, 2010

"More Time"

I had one of the most heart breaking things happen to me a while back. I met someone who was actively dying of cancer. I asked her if I could do anything for her or if I could get her anything. All she said was "time" as she drifted back to sleep. That's all she wanted. Time. I wish I could give her time. I wish I had a magical wand to wave that would allow her to do all the things she wanted to do, so she would be more accepting of death.

This story reminds me of another person I met recently. She was an older lady who was confused most of the time. She had a moment of lucidity and told me how scared she was to be alone and how terrified she was of dying. What could I tell her? I wonder if she wished she had more time to do something. If she could rewind the clock a bit, would she do anything differently? If she did would she be more accepting of death?

We only have one life on this earth (well that's my belief anyway). Why do we waste so much time doing things we hate? If she looked back at her life, I wonder what she wishes she'd done less of. What would she have done instead? Would she wish she hadn't worked so many hours in a job she didn't love and spent more time with her family instead?

I think this is something everyone can improve on. Time management and prioritization. What do you love to do that you should spend a little more time doing?

I just recently turned 25 and that is a bit terrifying (I know to some of you that will sound stupid, but its how I feel). How am I 25? I could never envision myself as anything older than 20. on earth did I make it to 25? Will I look back at age 50 and think the same thing? Where did the last 25 years go? Did I make those years count? Did I spend the majority of my time doing things I loved? I hope I will be able to say yes to the last two questions. I hope I learn to manage my time better than I have been in the last few years. Whether its traveling, doing a hobby I love, experiencing new things and people, and/or having a family, I hope I'm happy doing it.

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